Author(s): Robyn Bavati

Young Adult | 50 Australian Books You Might Have Missed

A moving #LoveOzYA novel about family, loss, first love – and being there for your family no matter what. There has been a lot of change in sixteen-year-old Jamie's life lately. He is still grieving the loss of his dad, which left his mum as sole-carer for his younger brother Oscar, who has Down syndrome and thrives on routine. Things get even more complicated when Jamie meets Zara, the new girl at school who seems to understand him in a way that no one else can. When their mum goes away for the weekend, Jamie volunteers to look after Oscar. Then the weekend is over and she doesn't return. Jamie must now deal with his growing feelings for Zara, keep Oscar safe and happy and do whatever it takes find her.  

Karen’s interview with Robyn Bavati, author of ‘A Weekend with Oscar’.

Karen:  What was the inspiration behind writing A Weekend With Oscar? As a mother yourself, were you friends with families that have children with disabilities? If so, did you ever ask or have a conversation about the dynamics of caring for a child with a disability, how that interplays with giving time to their other children, and their fears or concerns for the future?

Robyn:  When my own kids were at school, I did have a close friend whose daughter had autism spectrum disorder, and we did discuss the dynamics of caring for a child with a disability. However, this was not the inspiration for the book. That came after my kids had grown up. In late 2014, I joined Toastmasters and it was there I met Jacqui, a friendly and outgoing young woman with Down syndrome, who comes to our meetings with her dad. It was through meeting Jacqui that the idea of writing a book featuring a character with Down syndrome began to take root in my mind.

I was struck by the visibility and obviousness of Down syndrome, and it occurred to me that, like most parents of children who struggle in different ways, parents of a child with Down Syndrome would no doubt worry about their child’s future. However, unlike other parents who grapple with whether to disclose their child’s struggles, and to whom, the parents and siblings of a child with Down syndrome would not have this issue, or this choice. The conspicuousness would be part of what they have to deal with. I wanted to explore what that would be like.

Karen:  How did you go about finding out?

Since I did not have a family member with either Down syndrome or ASD, I spoke with those who did about their thoughts, feelings and experiences. These interviews were the most important part of my research, and there are very few thoughts and feelings in the book that are entirely made up. I “borrowed” almost all of them from my interviews. I also borrowed several of the anecdotes related to me.

Karen:  Could you give me an example of a “borrowed anecdote”?

Robyn:  Sure. One interviewee told me that once, when he was overseas with his younger brother (who has DS) and they were on the way to a bus stop, he saw the bus pulling up and ran to catch it, only to find, after the bus had driven off, that his younger brother had burst into tears. Trying to figure out what was wrong and getting no answer, he finally said, “Wait, you didn’t think I’d get on the bus and leave without you?” His brother admitted that yes, that was what he’d thought. “I’d often done this before,” this interviewee explained, “but only when we were in Melbourne, in his usual environment. The thought of being in an unfamiliar environment without me scared him.” I used this incident in the book almost exactly as it was related to me.

Another interviewee told me that her sister, who has ASD and with whom she shares a bedroom, once decided to move all the furniture at 3 am. In the book, Zara is exhausted at school one day because Hayley has done exactly that. 

I also borrowed from incidents that occurred during the interview process. For example, I went to interview a woman and seemed to be waiting forever on her doorstep before being let in. Her son had hidden the key, which he apparently did as a joke on a regular basis. I loved the cheekiness and humour of this, so I used it.

Karen:  The main character Jamie is only in Year 10, and has recently lost his father. We see that he doesn’t discuss his grief with his mother, she also doesn’t invite him to talk about his dad. Do you think this is a typical situation that happens in families? When Jamie hears his mother sobbing during the night, and is conflicted about comforting her, and wishing she would comfort him, it’s quite heartbreaking, but I completely understand his conflict.

Robyn:  While all families are different, I do think it’s quite common, especially for the oldest child in a family, to try not to “burden” the parent with his own emotions, especially when there is a younger child requiring extra care, and even more so when the parent is a single parent. Research has shown that oldest children do tend to have a strong sense of responsibility, both to their parents and to younger siblings. (It’s certainly the case in my own family.) And while normally a mother as caring as Jamie’s would invite her son to discuss his feelings, she is unable to do so as she is still grieving herself, and therefore not functioning as she usually would.

Karen:  I loved Jamie’s friend Dan, his desire to do stand-up comedy, his inability to speak to his mother about his struggles with being in an accelerated class and, how he feels about being asked about his ethnicity? As he says, “this isn’t the 1970s, you’d think people would know better by now.” Do you think we have come a long way since the 1970s in regards to assumptions about race and attitudes to people with disabilities? Do you think we still have a long way to go? Should it be part of the curriculum in the primary school years to educate children about these issues? 

Robyn:  Yes, I do think we have come a long way since the 70s, and yes, I still think we have a fair way to go. But we’re getting there. One interviewee said: “My sister went to a regular kindergarten and then to a regular school until she was about 9 or 10. After she left, the kids she’d been to school with were all friendly to her if they ever happened to cross paths, especially the ones she’d been with in kinder. They just accepted her. So I think the way to educate people to be accepting of people with disabilities is to simply integrate them at an early age.” I think he’s right, and I also think it’s the same with race. When kids are exposed to people from different races or abilities at a very young age, they see difference as normal.

Back in the 70s, at my school and many others, kids with even mild learning disabilities were often asked to leave school before Year 12 so as not to “bring down” the school average.

Now, for the most part, there is an awareness that schools don’t exist for the sake of the parents’ or staff’s egos, but for the sake of the children who attend them. There is also a growing understanding that integration and inclusivity is enriching for everyone.

While anything that increases empathy and understanding would be a welcome part of any curriculum, there is less need for it when integration and inclusivity are actually practised. It would be nice to imagine a time when formal education about these issues won’t be needed, when integration and inclusivity have become the norm.

Karen:  I liked Jamie’s explanation to Zara about why he no longer uses social media. How the use of emojis in response to the news of his fathers death felt insulting and superficial. I wondered when I read that passage, whether teenagers reading that would understand Jamie’s reasoning?

Robyn:  I wondered about that, too. I hope they would.

Karen:  As we are made aware early in the book, Jamie is a mature boy for his age, responsible, good-hearted, and a loving brother to Oscar who has Down syndrome. His meeting with Zara, the new girl, who also has a sibling with a disability provides both of them with an instant bond. Was the inclusion of Zara and her sister included to demonstrate that the range of disabilities is absolutely vast and that you cannot pigeonhole a group of people together, disabled or otherwise?

Robyn:  Yes, as well as providing Jamie and Zara with something in common, I did want to show that disability is not one thing. And that even people with “the same” disability are not the same.

Almost everyone I interviewed said that people tend to think of people with Down syndrome or people with ADS as stereotypes. They wanted me – and the reader – to understand that people with disabilities are not stereotypes, but individuals who are just as unique as everyone else.

Karen:  My main feeling that I had about A Weekend With Oscar was how beautifully drawn the families in the book were portrayed. All with their own set of challenges and complexity, but ultimately how the ties of family that bind us together can only be strengthened by honesty.

This is certainly an issue that the teenagers in the book struggle with. Do you hope that teenagers that read your book might be encouraged to open up to their parents more about what bothers them?

Robyn:  I do, though sometimes there are good reasons why teenagers don’t open up to their parents. There are also some parents who find it hard to hear the truth about their children’s feelings. If unable to confide in their parents, I would hope that teenage readers would be more willing to open up to counsellors and others who may be able to help.